There are too many Hello jokes that can be made here.
So we'll just cut to the chase.
Meet Peter Van der Veen, Adele's super-hot new bodyguard:
On some corners of the internet, he's already a known entity — as Lady Gaga's former bodyguard.
He can reach our telephone any day:
And now that he's been spotted on Adele's arm (you know, keeping her precious life safe and all), the denizens of the internet are starting to take notice.