When you're entering the Dark Despair, you're entering Baby Face's house... and she wants you to stay.
Dark Despair, a hellish, pitch-black maze, is the newest attraction at Kim's Krypt Haunted Mill in Spring Grove.
The labyrinth, home to a demonic character named Baby Face, opened its doors this weekend, owner Kim Yates said.
Inside the blind enclosure, you are stuck for as long as it takes you to find your way out ... and did I mention you are entirely alone?
You're not allowed to go in with a friend and squeeze their hand for comfort or have your girlfriend lead the way as you cower behind her, paralyzed with fear.
You are forced to face the abyss alone and "hope you survive," the Krypt's website states.
While the small maze would take mere seconds to walk through in the light, it took me eight whole minutes to make it through, with Baby Face screeching and laughing maniacally at all of my missteps and blunders.
When my phone lit up from a text message, she shrieked at the top of her lungs, "No lights!", sending chills running down my spine and a sick feeling straight to my gut.
It felt like I was in third grade and my teacher had just scolded me ... oh, and she wanted to skin me alive.
I started to panic after what felt like five minutes, but the threat of Baby Face's screams kept me from checking my timer.
I was making no headway, bumping into the same corners continuously, running my hands feverishly over the walls and trying to push through barriers that wouldn't budge.
And it didn't help that I was paranoid the depraved infant would pop up in front of me at any moment.
Afterwards, Baby Face told me she thought she was going to get a "new friend to stay with her forever," and in the moment, when I was desperately seeking the exit from inside the maze, so did I.
If you're afraid of the dark and of evil babies with bone-chilling laughs, do not go to the Dark Despair.
But if you're the type of person who welcomes the chance to be lost inside of a black hole alone, then by all means, enter the "black mass of eternal damnation (that) will suck your soul and leave you disoriented."
If you go
What: Dark Despair at Kim's Krypt Haunted Mill
Where: 5932 Colonial Valley Road, Spring Grove
Cost: Each attraction at the Krypt is a different price. It was $10 to enter the Dark Despair.
Buy tickets at the door or online here.