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Millennials embrace Friendsgiving celebrations


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LOUISVILLE, Ky. — In the days leading up to Thanksgiving, Ann Marie Kelly and her friends will be giving thanks on their own terms.

The holiday hostess, a friend who recently moved into town, will provide the turkey, ham and sangria. The 25 or so guests — mostly her boyfriend's friends who went to high school together — will bring sides, appetizers and bourbon.

Kelly, the 25-year-old executive director of Young Professionals Association of Louisville, plans to bring the macaroni and cheese.

While celebrating Thanksgiving with friends is not a new idea, the holiday of "Friendsgiving" has caught fire over the past five years, says University of Louisville sociology professor Bob Carini, and millennials — those born roughly between 1981 and 2000, according to the Pew Research Center — are at the vanguard of the movement.

Although the origins of the invented holiday are murky, it's usually a potluck-style celebration of friendship that takes place the Wednesday before Thanksgiving, Carini said.

"Friendsgiving is kind of a Thanksgiving that you get to have on your own terms — with only people I like, with only food I like, for as long as I like," says Kimberly Hurt, 28, of South Louisville, who one year packed 30 of her closest friends into her 685-square-foot home for a Friendsgiving feast, eaten off paper plates at her eat-at counter.

Doing things on their own terms and challenging convention is "the millennial kind of anthem," says Jason Dorsey, a Texas-based researcher who studies millennial behavior and trends, and that's why Friendsgiving says a lot about the generation taking ownership of new traditions.

Both Carini and Dorsey say Friendsgiving is most popular among college students and young professionals. They're not necessarily choosing Friendsgiving over family time — most celebrate it in addition to traditional Thanksgiving festivities, Carini says — but it might be the best option for those who can't travel over the holiday due to work or finances.

Millennials are more likely than any other generations to hold jobs in the retail sector, according to a 2012 study by PayScale and research firm Millennial Branding. Carini says stores opening early for Black Friday may mean, for retail workers, Friendsgiving is simply the only thing available.

MAKING IT THEIRS

Kelly, who lives in the Highlands, says she believes Friendsgiving is popular with young adults because "right now we don't have our own kids to celebrate Thanksgiving with."

Dorsey says the "phenomenon" of Friendsgiving is reflective of a generation doing the traditional markers of adulthood — like getting married and having kids — later than previous generations.

"The result of that is you've got a lot of people who aren't married and don't have kids in their 20s, late-20s and 30s," he says. "A traditional Thanksgiving doesn't really fit their lifestyle."

Even the branding of Friendsgiving as its own sort of holiday is significant, says Dorsey, who is himself a millennial and has his own Friendsgiving plans. He says it is indicative of a generation of people who schedule their lives around events.

Millennials, whom he calls "the most event-driven generation," jump into all sorts of "funny things," he says, like Talk Like a Pirate Day and over-the-top St. Patrick's Day celebrations — even if they're not Irish.

"When you're that event-driven, creating your own event or naming your own event just gives you more pride in making sure it's a great event," he says. "There's a sense of ownership."

And the branding of Friendsgiving, Carini says, has probably contributed to its "self-reinforcing" popularity. Food-related companies are seizing the marketing opportunity to create things like the Taco Bell Friendsgiving Feast for social media friends (which this year included Creamy Chipotle Spinach Dip with Gordita Shell Dippers).

People are also talking about it more. Or — in true millennial fashion — they're posting about it on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook, using tags like #Friendsgiving and #gobblegobble.

A GROWING 'FAMILY'

On a broader level, Carini says, maybe Friendsgiving is further evidence that Americans' definition of "family" is expanding, something he has seen increasingly over the past few decades.

Friendsgiving is a way to celebrate the holiday with the "family" members of your choosing, Carini says, and for some, perhaps that's preferential to the traditional Thanksgiving gathering.

"Honestly, regular Thanksgiving can be kind of awkward sometimes," laughs South Louisville resident Hurt, who quickly adds that she really likes her family.

With friends, Carini says, perhaps you can let your hair down, laugh a little too loudly or drink a little too much without the "judgmental reaction" you might receive from family members.

Dorsey says the main thing baby-boomer parents should know about Friendsgiving is "we're not strange for doing this."

"Family members always complain that we're never talking to each other. We're always on our phones or on our iPads," he says. "They should be really excited that we actually want to be physically together."